Practicing, 'From the Hip'

Some may still recall the “not so timeless classic” 1987 movie, From the Hip, starring Jud Nelson who is more popularly known for his role in what is closer to a timeless classic, The Breakfast Club. With all the 1980’s nostalgia as of late, the former movie came to mind as one of those flicks that I have been meaning to watch after all these years. It just so happens to be one of the more odd-ball cinematic portrayals of a courtroom attorney that gave me a few seeds of inspiration in my youth. The story line essentially follows what is a comedic drama of an unconventional attorney who impresses the partners in his firm so as to make junior partner early in his career. He is eventually handed a high-profile murder-rape case, his superiors thus vetting his avant-garde abilities. And, as the story goes Nelson’s character is caught between his ethics and questionable duty owed to his client, being forced to reexamine his career. I suggest watching this one, and I do not want to spoil anything for those who have not yet had the chance to see it.

Rivaling the Ivory Tower: Solo Practitioners Providing a Competitive Edge

When it comes to commerce and the natural course of events in the business world, great demand for legal services persist in good economic times as well as bad. These seemingly ever-present and unpredictably long poor economic times opened up a market for more affordable legal services, especially for business clients. In light of making a profit and maintaining growth - otherwise the survival for many fighting to keep operations going – companies that are costing in legal services to stay within leaner budgets means that the premium placed on such services naturally will adjust according to the demands of the market. The fact of the matter is that the “specter” of the Ivory Tower firm with their luxurious office spaces, elite attorneys, and diverse staff of support people equates to a high priced, although admittedly an often high quality, service. However, the cost-benefit is not always up to snuff considering that the biggest complaints about the higher-end law firm services appears consistently to be the client having little to no access to the attorney along with an astronomical bill for what could otherwise have been half the cost with the small law office in the same neighborhood. So, the “specter” of the Ivory Tower may be one that is more or less the looming legal bill as opposed to anything material.

The One Who Laughs Loudest Laughs Best: Appreciation for Attorney Jokes

One of my favorite attorney jokes is: "How was copper wire invented? Two attorneys got into a dispute over a penny." Here is another good one:

Two attorneys walk into a bar, a Civil Litigator and a Prosecutor. The Prosecutor bets the Civil Litigator $100 that he will convince the bartender to buy their drinks at the end of a long night of drinking despite the fact that neither were friends with him. He accepts the bet. Keep in mind this bartender was once a notorious biker.



So, finally after the two men drank at the bar for a few hours and the bartender – who happens to have at least 75 pounds on the Civil Litigator and is a former Hell’s Angel – says to the attorney, “Hey, do I know you? You look like the attorney who foreclosed on my house!” “No! Not me!” exclaimed the attorney in a nerous voice plainly denying it - though he does remember having the deed and hence why he thought this was an easy $100 bet. The bartender shrugged his shoulders, and said “I’ll take your word for it, but I could have sworn it is you.” He then walked away mumbling to himself.


The Prosecutor then leaves his Civil Litigator buddy for a moment at the bar and has a private conversation with the bartender and the Civil Litigator assumed he did so to make sure there was no trouble. Later he asks his Prosecutor friend, “Is everything okay?” The Prosecutor then replies, “Not at all. The bartender tells me he will rip your thumbs off if you don’t shred up the deed to the house right here at the bar and give his house back, and act like you’re happy about it.” It turns out that the attorney who foreclosed on the bartender's house was the Civil Litigator's associate and the Prosecutor was quick to mention this.


Right away the Civil Litigator runs to his office and comes back to the bar with the deed. He tears it up, dances on it laughing, and spits all over it while looking like a fool. Everybody in the bar laughs. The Civil Litigator pays for their drinks and leaves with his Prosecutor buddy.


The Civil Litigator then turns to the Prosecutor and says, “You owe me $100. This bartender never paid for the drinks.” The Prosecutor, laughing, pays him the $100, and then says, “Nope. He did not. But I bet him $500 that you would tear up the deed to his home, then dance all over and spit on his bar, making a fool out of himself... Also, when I was talking to him he said he had it in mind to rip my thumbs off for prosecuting him a few years back especially if I lost the bet, but he was laughing so hard that you tore up his deed and looked like an idiot he ended up letting us both go!”

Perhaps to the chagrin of some attorneys - the truly stolid ones who have a sense of hyper-self-importance - I have found few of us who don't love a good attorney joke. I can't hold, however, that they are always welcomed by those in the profession.

Let's face it, many attorneys you meet are very serious and formal because the job requires almost constant decorum and being wittingly serious while "on the clock." The truth is, at the office and sometimes in casual conversation we have a good laugh, even over a classic attorney joke. Attorneys are people, so are judges, who put their suits and robes on like everyone else, or maybe it would be better stated as to their "pants and skirts on with one leg at a time like everyone else."

As far as there being some element of truth to any joke, that is another topic altogether....