Two attorneys walk into a bar, a Civil Litigator and a Prosecutor. The Prosecutor bets the Civil Litigator $100 that he will convince the bartender to buy their drinks at the end of a long night of drinking despite the fact that neither were friends with him. He accepts the bet. Keep in mind this bartender was once a notorious biker.Perhaps to the chagrin of some attorneys - the truly stolid ones who have a sense of hyper-self-importance - I have found few of us who don't love a good attorney joke. I can't hold, however, that they are always welcomed by those in the profession.
So, finally after the two men drank at the bar for a few hours and the bartender – who happens to have at least 75 pounds on the Civil Litigator and is a former Hell’s Angel – says to the attorney, “Hey, do I know you? You look like the attorney who foreclosed on my house!” “No! Not me!” exclaimed the attorney in a nerous voice plainly denying it - though he does remember having the deed and hence why he thought this was an easy $100 bet. The bartender shrugged his shoulders, and said “I’ll take your word for it, but I could have sworn it is you.” He then walked away mumbling to himself.
The Prosecutor then leaves his Civil Litigator buddy for a moment at the bar and has a private conversation with the bartender and the Civil Litigator assumed he did so to make sure there was no trouble. Later he asks his Prosecutor friend, “Is everything okay?” The Prosecutor then replies, “Not at all. The bartender tells me he will rip your thumbs off if you don’t shred up the deed to the house right here at the bar and give his house back, and act like you’re happy about it.” It turns out that the attorney who foreclosed on the bartender's house was the Civil Litigator's associate and the Prosecutor was quick to mention this.
Right away the Civil Litigator runs to his office and comes back to the bar with the deed. He tears it up, dances on it laughing, and spits all over it while looking like a fool. Everybody in the bar laughs. The Civil Litigator pays for their drinks and leaves with his Prosecutor buddy.
The Civil Litigator then turns to the Prosecutor and says, “You owe me $100. This bartender never paid for the drinks.” The Prosecutor, laughing, pays him the $100, and then says, “Nope. He did not. But I bet him $500 that you would tear up the deed to his home, then dance all over and spit on his bar, making a fool out of himself... Also, when I was talking to him he said he had it in mind to rip my thumbs off for prosecuting him a few years back especially if I lost the bet, but he was laughing so hard that you tore up his deed and looked like an idiot he ended up letting us both go!”
Let's face it, many attorneys you meet are very serious and formal because the job requires almost constant decorum and being wittingly serious while "on the clock." The truth is, at the office and sometimes in casual conversation we have a good laugh, even over a classic attorney joke. Attorneys are people, so are judges, who put their suits and robes on like everyone else, or maybe it would be better stated as to their "pants and skirts on with one leg at a time like everyone else."
As far as there being some element of truth to any joke, that is another topic altogether....
